She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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