Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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