I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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