I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing