how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
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It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
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the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.