i need an iv and a liver transplant
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
