just come out here and I will go home with you...
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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