I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize