whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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