I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
