Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
