how can u be prego again
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
