I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
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