You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize