So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Randomize
