So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
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Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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