We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
