I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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