I think i peed on brittanys purse
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
