i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
