well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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