I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
