i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
