why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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