just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
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hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
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Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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