I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
