I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
