States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
