I must be too annoying 4 u.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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