She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
