Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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