My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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