All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
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