i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
True strength comes from lack of pants
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
