Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
