Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize