You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
