talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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