10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷ðŸ»â€â™€ï¸
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
