I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I am in a vortex of obligation.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
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