yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
