I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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