She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
