He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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