No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
