i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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