were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
smell my finger.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
