btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
