bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
