doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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