Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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