the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
