Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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