You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
