I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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