I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
