I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Damn victory sex feels great
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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