yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
