I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
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