You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
