sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
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They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
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Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
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